Why do two people see the same situation so differently? This week’s reflection explores how our psychological lens shapes the way we interpret people, events and the world around us—and why understanding ourselves may be the first step towards understanding one another.
Have you ever left a conversation wondering how two intelligent, well-meaning people could witness exactly the same situation and come away with completely different conclusions?
One saw courage.
The other saw recklessness.
One saw inclusion.
The other saw unfairness.
One saw hope.
The other saw threat.
Why?
Our instinct is often to decide who is right and who is wrong. But what if there is another possibility?
What if they are looking through different lenses?
We All See the World Through a Psychological Lens
None of us experiences the world exactly as it is.
Instead, we interpret it through psychological lenses that have been shaped over many years by our relationships, culture, education, successes, disappointments, fears, hopes and the communities to which we belong.
These lenses influence far more than our opinions.
They shape:
- what we notice
- what we overlook
- who we empathise with
- who we dismiss
- what we believe to be true
- what we consider possible
The question isn’t whether we have a lens.
We all do.
The more important question is:
What has shaped mine?
A Windscreen We Forget to Clean
Imagine driving a car with a perfectly clean windscreen.
You hardly notice it because you’re looking through it, not at it.
Now imagine driving the same car for weeks.
Dust begins to settle.
Rain leaves marks.
Road spray builds up.
Perhaps a bird flies overhead.
The changes happen gradually.
So gradually, in fact, that we often stop noticing them.
Our psychological lenses work in much the same way.
Experiences accumulate quietly.
A difficult conversation.
A headline.
A social media post.
A painful disappointment.
A repeated message that slowly begins to feel like common sense.
None of these experiences necessarily distorts our judgement on its own.
But together they can gradually influence how we see the world—often without us realising it.
Not All Distortions Are the Same
Recently, my daughter was driving home from Scotland.
Her car had been parked beneath a tree and was covered in bird droppings.
When I suggested she stop at a car wash before setting off she said it would take too long and then she laughed, .
“What’s the point? It’ll only get dirty again on the motorway.”
I offered to pay for the wash anyway.
When she arrived home, she admitted she was glad she had.
The motorway had certainly left its mark.
But it was nothing like driving hundreds of miles looking through bird droppings.
That conversation stayed with me.
Some influences simply accumulate as part of everyday life.
Others have a much greater impact on how clearly we can see.
The challenge is that we often become accustomed to both.
Looking Through the SSF Lens
This way of thinking sits at the heart of the Six Stages Framework (SSF).
Rather than asking,
“Who’s right?”
the Framework invites us to ask different questions.
- What lens might each person be looking through?
- What experiences have shaped that lens?
- What has become visible to them?
- What might have become invisible?
These questions do not guarantee agreement.
But they create something that often matters even more.
Curiosity.
And curiosity creates the possibility of dialogue.
🔍 Is It Time for a Lens Check?
Cleaning the Lens: A Moment to Look Again
Before moving on, pause for a moment.
Ask yourself:
- What assumptions have I become comfortable with?
- What have I stopped noticing?
- What experiences have gradually settled on my lens?
- Who—or what—has most influenced the way I’m interpreting this situation?
- Is there another perspective that might help me see more clearly?
We all have lenses.
We all accumulate residue from life.
The invitation isn’t to have a perfect lens.
It’s simply to be willing to examine it from time to time.
Before Changing the World…
We service our cars.
We maintain our homes.
We update our devices.
Yet many of us rarely stop to examine the lens through which we interpret ourselves, other people and the world around us.
Perhaps one of the most important forms of maintenance is the one we so often overlook.
Before changing the world, pause and check the lens through which you’re seeing it.
Because the clearest path to understanding often begins not by changing what we are looking at, but by changing how we are looking.
This is what I’m seeing through the SSF Lens.
What are you seeing?
Internal Links
Start Here
Through the SSF Lens
Why the Six Stages Framework Is More Than a Framework
VF001 | Moving from Certainty to Curiosity
VF002 | Looking Beyond the Surface
VF003 | Lived Experience Is Evidence
External Links
Through the SSF Lens – LinkedIn Newsletter
Psychology & Human Behaviour Through the SSF Lens (LinkedIn Discussion Group)
Six Stages Framework YouTube Channel
Psychology Today – Cognitive Bias
If this reflection resonated with you, you may also enjoy:
- Start Here – an introduction to the Six Stages Framework
- Through the SSF Lens – explore the full Weekly Reflection series
- Why the Six Stages Framework Is More Than a Framework
- VF001 | Moving from Certainty to Curiosity
- VF002 | Looking Beyond the Surface
- VF003 | Lived Experience Is Evidence
Join the conversation through the Through the SSF Lens LinkedIn Newsletter, the Psychology & Human Behaviour Through the SSF Lens LinkedIn Group, or watch our videos on the Six Stages Framework YouTube Channel.
