This article (and video below) is about workplace bias and provides and analyses the content of a podcast episode from the series “Conversations from the Cave,” hosted by Dr. Shungu H. M’gadzah.
The episode, titled “Charlotte Meets Emily -When Politeness Meets Resistance,” uses a short, dramatized office vignette to illustrate the challenges of bias awareness. The expert reflection applies the “Six Stages Framework” to categorize the characters, identifying Charlotte at Stage +1 (Emerging Awareness) and Emily at Stage -1 (Unaware and Resistant), explaining that both silence and defensiveness enable harm.
Introduction: A Familiar Silence in the Staff Room
We’ve all been there. A colleague makes a comment about a sensitive topic-like diversity- and the air in the room instantly changes. A joke falls flat, an awkward silence descends, and everyone suddenly becomes very interested in their coffee mug. What happens next is crucial, but often, what happens is… nothing.
This article explores that pivotal moment through the story of two colleagues, Charlotte and Emily. Their interaction in the office staff room serves as a powerful case study for understanding two common, yet problematic, responses to workplace bias.
Our goal is to use their story to explain two key stages from Dr. Shungu H. M’gadzah’s “Six Stages Framework” for bias awareness. By unpacking this brief encounter, you will gain a clear understanding of why both well-intentioned silence and defensive resistance can be unhelpful, and what it takes to move forward.
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1. The Scene: “I Guess We’ve Ticked the Diversity Boxes”
Imagine an office staff room. For Charlotte, the atmosphere is a mix of thoughtful reflection and typical workday chatter, as the team’s recent inclusion training is still fresh in her mind. A new colleague, a young Black neurodivergent woman, is quietly making a cup of tea. Suddenly, Emily speaks up loudly.
“Well, I guess we’ve ticked all the diversity boxes now, haven’t we?”
The room freezes. The new colleague looks down, and the light-hearted mood evaporates. Noticing the lack of laughter, Emily adds with an awkward chuckle:
“Oh, come on, I was only joking. People are way too sensitive these days.”
Across the room, Charlotte feels a knot in her stomach. Her internal monologue races.
“I wanted to say something. But I didn’t.”
She rationalizes her inaction, telling herself that speaking up isn’t her place and that she doesn’t want to make the situation worse.
“I convinced myself that staying silent was being professional.”
This brief, uncomfortable scene is a perfect illustration of a common workplace dynamic. To understand the forces at play, we need a framework that can decode these behaviours.
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2. A Framework for Understanding: Politeness vs. Resistance
To analyse this interaction, we can turn to the “Six Stages Framework” created by Dr. Shungu H. M’gadzah. This framework provides a lens for decoding common encounters with bias, like the one between Charlotte and Emily, which Dr. M’gadzah describes as a “classic encounter between politeness and resistance.”
In this story, each character represents a distinct stage of bias awareness:
- Charlotte represents Stage +1: Emerging Awareness.
- Emily represents Stage -1: Unaware and Resistant.
Let’s take a closer look at what each stage means and how it manifests in the workplace.
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3. Meet Charlotte: Stage +1, Emerging Awareness
Stage +1, “Emerging Awareness,” is the point where a person is beginning to notice bias but feels uncertain or paralyzed about how to act. They are often polite, professional, and well-intentioned, but their awareness hasn’t yet translated into confident action.
This perfectly describes Charlotte. She recognized that Emily’s comment was inappropriate and felt an internal desire to intervene, but her fear of disrupting the peace led her to choose silence. Her subsequent justification—”being professional”—is a common cognitive strategy. This is a form of benevolent framing, where inaction is re-cast as a positive, professional choice to avoid the cognitive dissonance of knowing something is wrong but doing nothing.
Key characteristics of this stage include:
- Awareness Without Action: The individual recognizes that something is wrong but feels paralyzed and is unsure how to intervene effectively. This creates a significant internal conflict between their values and their behavior.
- Silence as Professionalism: There is a strong tendency to rationalize inaction as the “professional” choice. The person convinces themselves that staying silent is better than potentially “making it worse” or causing a scene.
- Fear of Social Consequences: The primary driver for someone at this stage is the fear of “rocking the boat.” They worry about damaging relationships, facing professional backlash, or disrupting workplace harmony.
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4. Meet Emily: Stage -1, Unaware and Resistant
Stage -1, “Unaware and Resistant,” describes a state of being blind to the impact of one’s words or actions, often stemming from unchecked privilege and a general discomfort with difference. When confronted with the awkwardness they create, their immediate reaction is often defensiveness.
Emily’s insensitive joke, followed by her “people are too sensitive” comment, is a textbook example. Her remark wasn’t intended to be overtly cruel, but it revealed a lack of awareness and a resistance to considering the perspective of her new colleague.
Key characteristics of this stage include:
- Discomfort with Difference: Biased comments often come from a place of unchecked privilege and discomfort with new concepts of diversity and inclusion. The “joke” is a way to dismiss a topic that feels unfamiliar or challenging.
- Defensiveness as a Shield: When their words are met with silence or disapproval, individuals at this stage react defensively. This deflects from their own discomfort and places the blame on others for being “too sensitive.”
- Fear of Accountability: The primary fear driving this behavior is being held accountable for the impact of their words. Defensiveness is a mechanism to avoid having to reflect on their own biases or apologize for the harm caused.
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5. Two Different Stages, One Harmful Outcome
While Charlotte and Emily seem to be at opposite ends of the spectrum, their behaviours are linked by a common, damaging outcome. The table below clarifies their key differences.
| Feature | Stage +1 (Emerging Awareness) | Stage -1 (Unaware and Resistant) |
| Level of Awareness | Beginning to notice bias and its impact. | Unaware of the impact of their words. |
| Primary Fear | Fear of rocking the boat or facing social/professional consequences. | Fear of being held accountable for their actions. |
| Outward Behavior | Silence, politeness, and internal conflict. | Insensitive jokes and defensive follow-up comments. |
Despite these differences, the most crucial similarity is their shared impact. While neither stage is overtly hostile, both the polite silence of Charlotte and the defensive resistance of Emily allow harm to continue. Charlotte’s silence acts as an implicit endorsement of Emily’s comment. It creates a vacuum that is filled by the harmful status quo, leaving their new colleague unsupported and validating the biased behavior.
As Dr. M’gadzah powerfully states:
“But silence sustains systems.”
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6. The Path Forward: What Support Looks Like
The “Six Stages Framework” doesn’t just diagnose the problem; it also prescribes the solution. To progress, individuals at each stage need specific and targeted support that directly addresses their underlying fears.
Supporting Charlotte (From Awareness to Action)
To overcome her fear of “rocking the boat,” Charlotte needs tools that build confidence and reduce the perceived risk of speaking up.
- Psychological safety to speak up: This means creating a culture where challenging the status quo isn’t seen as insubordination, but as a commitment to shared values. Leaders must actively model this by inviting dissent and protecting those who speak out from social or professional backlash.
- Language and confidence to respond: This isn’t about giving her a complex script, but simple, low-risk phrases like, “I’m not sure I understand the joke, can you explain it?” or “That comment didn’t land well with me.” These tools lower the barrier to entry for intervention.
- Role models who disrupt bias respectfully: Seeing leaders and peers successfully intervene provides a powerful blueprint for action. It demonstrates that speaking up can be done safely and constructively, transforming it from a feared confrontation into a manageable conversation.
Supporting Emily (From Resistance to Reflection)
To help her move past her fear of accountability, Emily first needs support that encourages self-awareness without triggering further defensiveness.
- A mirror to see the impact of her words: Resistance often stems from a disconnect between intent and impact. A “mirror” can be non-judgmental feedback from a trusted colleague, anonymized survey data, or stories from affected employees that illustrate the harm caused by “harmless” jokes, making the abstract consequences concrete.
- A mentor to challenge her resistance: A trusted peer or leader can ask thoughtful questions—not make accusations—that help her explore her discomfort and see beyond her own perspective. This moves the focus from blame to curiosity and growth.
- Motivation to move beyond comfort: This requires framing DEI not as a threat, but as a path to better teamwork and innovation. The motivation could be tied to personal leadership goals or team performance metrics, showing her that her growth in this area is integral to her own success and the team’s.
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7. Conclusion: Your Next Step from Awareness to Action
The story of Charlotte and Emily reveals a profound workplace truth: seemingly opposite behaviours- one rooted in a desire to be polite and the other in defensive resistance- can conspire to uphold systems of bias. It shows us that simply being aware of a problem is not enough to solve it.
As the framework illustrates, awareness is only the beginning. Real progress requires identifying where we are and then actively seeking or providing the support needed to take the next step.
So, as you reflect on this story of politeness and resistance, ask yourself: Where do you see yourself, and what would help you take your next step?
The interaction between Charlotte and Emily is used to illustrate two common behavioural responses within the Six Stages Framework for bias awareness. Charlotte is positioned at Stage +1 (Emerging Awareness), while Emily is at Stage -1 (Unaware and Resistant).
To move them both to the next stage of bias awareness and constructive action, the expert analysis in the sources outlines specific, differentiated support required for each woman.
Below is a chart analysis detailing the characteristics of each stage and the necessary support required for Charlotte and Emily to progress beyond their current barriers.
Chart Analysis: Progression Needs in the Six Stages Framework (SSF)
| Feature | Charlotte (Stage +1: Emerging Awareness) | Emily (Stage -1: Unaware and Resistant) |
| Stage Description | The individual is beginning to notice bias and is attempting to process new information, such as after inclusion training. | The individual may be unaware of the impact of their words and actively resists the discomfort that new concepts or difference brings. |
| Key Behavior | Silence. Charlotte rationalizes her inaction as being polite or professional. | Defensiveness and insensitive joking. Emily exhibited this with her awkward joke about “ticked all the diversity boxes”. |
| Motivation/Conflict | Internal desire to speak up versus the desire to be professional. | Unchecked privilege and discomfort with difference. |
| Primary Barrier/Fear | Fearing rocking the boat (i.e., social or professional consequence). | Fearing accountability. |
| Necessary Support for Progression | To move beyond awareness and take action: | To progress beyond resistance and comfort: |
| Specific Needs | 1. Psychological safety to speak up. | 1. A mirror to see the impact of her words. |
| 2. Language and confidence to respond. | 2. A mentor to challenge her resistance. | |
| 3. Role models who disrupt bias respectfully. | 3. Motivation to move beyond comfort. |
Summary of Key Insights
The article highlights that although Charlotte and Emily have different motivations and levels of awareness, their current stages share a critical similarity: they both allow harm to continue.
- For Charlotte, who is aware but silent, the expert reflection emphasizes that awareness is only the beginning, and her silence sustains systems of bias. She needs tools to overcome her fear of “rocking the boat”.
- For Emily, who is resistant, the goal of the necessary support is to provide reflection (a mirror) and external challenge (a mentor) to prompt her to move beyond comfort.
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